Sea-kittens for dinner!

Green day, everyone, I mean good day. It is time for a news story by me, the hater of sea kittens from the abyss. Unfamiliar with the term? Let me explain... or let me quote, ""Sea kittens" is the new term being used by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, for the creatures they believe are in dire need of an image makeover: fish." What the freeholies? ""Fish not only have the same ability to feel pain as a dog or a cat, but they also communicate with one another," says PETA's Sea-Kitten Representative. "They have complex social interactions; they form bonds; they express affection by gently rubbing against one another." But what the margarita pie are they talking about? PETA has gone way over the limit here. How dare they mess with my fish fry? What am I suppose to call it now, a sea kitten fry? What if I want caviar? Kitten caviar sounds like fetus de feline. Nasty!

And what about Jonah? Was he swallowed by a big sea kitten? That's just wrong on so many levels. And how about renaming them? Cat fish and dog fish would be changed to weirdness.

Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Other guy: How about Cat-seakitten king?
Me: That name just sounds wrong.
And dogseakitten is even worse. Swordseakitten sounds like the puss in boots on an off day. This is just wrong, but it's getting support! That is what astounds me; people are actually petitioning with them. I mean, come on people, get your thinking caps on and turn your light bulbs on! (sigh)

"The PETA campaign boasts a colorful, interactive Web site aimed at children and their parents. It offers sea kitten bedtime stories and a design-your-own sea kitten in hopes it will build compassion in families.

"Most parents would never dream of spending a weekend torturing kittens for fun with their families, but hooking a sea kitten through the mouth and dragging her through the water is the same as hooking a kitten through the mouth and dragging her behind your car," Byrne says."
... that's just... wrong. I mean, I torment my dog every day. And I eat cat at the Chinese place in town. What is the matter with these people?
"Byrne says that even if people lose jobs in the fishing industry through the success of the campaign, they could find work in more sea-kitten-friendly environments.

"So as there is less of a demand for foods like fish, there is more of a demand for other foods, and jobs open up in those industries," Byrne says."
What? Can I even find somthing to say to that? Yes! Idiots! Everyone is making money already on the other industries, and if you get people fired, you will answer to God for it, you PEDA on yourself, heartless... Gosh! Ah! (sigh) And besides, no one will care. Red Lobster, Catfish King, Ralf and Kacoos, these restaurants will still be selling to their customers, even if they have to change the word "fish" to "seakitten." I will still eat them until I bulge, and so will the rest of the world. PETA's attempt to make a difference by changing a name is meaningless and worthless. These people get me madder than most of the rest of the world put together. This mentality of "oh look at me, I'm special because I make a difference" is one of witch I have no sympathy with. At least I know I make no difference in this world with my pathetic blog. God, not man, uses things to make differences. And if these guys think that this will be a gold badge on their jackets, let me say that they had better make their own jackets.
"National Marine Fisheries Service management biologist Brian Dixon doesn't see the change coming anytime soon.

"Well, it may raise some money for PETA, but I don't think it'll change the way we manage the fisheries," Dixon says. "I think I may eat some sea kittens tonight.""
As will we all, Mr. Dixon, as will we all. Except, I think I'll torture my dog a little while I eat the sea-kittens, as well as electrocute a neighbors cat. That's always fun.

-Sure, the above post was thrown together by Caleb, but Kevin the seakitten was lovingly designed by Mr. EID himself, Jeffrey.